Overcoming the Habit of Negative Thinking
Recently a young friend of mine complained, “If only I can figure out how to tone down the bad thoughts inside so they can stop projecting outwards!” My wish in that moment was that I could wave a magic wand and wipe away all her negative thoughts, but unfortunately life does not work like that.
We are all plagued by negative thinking to a degree, but allowing this habit to rule our lives, for habit it is, is a grave error. Happiness, prosperity, wellness and wisdom are our birthright; they are the four elements of the good life we all deserve and constitute the abundance we are intended to experience throughout life. Regrettably, we make a bit of a mess of these fundamentals as we go through life and we have no one to blame but ourselves.
When you enter your school years you have other figures of authority telling you what to do and what not to do. We are expected to respect them and learn from them, but often they are not worthy. They will frequently tell you how much you are incapable of doing, but seldom tell you how much you are capable of doing. In retrospect, these years are seldom building up; for so many children they are years of breaking down. Did you ever have a teacher who put big red crosses on your carefully prepared homework, or circled things out with their hated red pen, or worst of all, crossed it all out with one big red slash? How children come out the other end of this period of life with any sense of ‘being’ is a mystery. But somehow we do, but in what state?
I have always thought that the mark of a good teacher, guide, coach or councilor, is not one who is able to impart information but rather one who can reveal the rudiments of living, and simultaneously build a sturdy character in their student, or client. Strength of character requires self-esteem, healthy beliefs and values and a readiness to change where adjustment is required. Self esteem can be built and beliefs and values can be adjusted to suit new times and experiences.
Life is a journey with a purpose, and you have chosen to walk the path you are travelling. That means that every experience along the way prepares you for a future step. When you turn your thoughts of yourself to positive affirmations and see the value of your experience, you increase your own energy. Berating yourself is a waste of precious energy. You should permit yourself the time to truly feel your feelings, but don’t let them hold you back; rather you must move forward on your chosen path. Feeling worthy and self-confident today, you can look forward with the same enthusiasm with which, in retrospect, you viewed your past achievements.
So how do we break this habit? First of all we have to consider how this habit came about in the first place, and the sad answer to this question is that we are programmed into thinking negatively in out formative years and we take it along with us as we develop toward adulthood. If you consider how many times a toddler hears the words, “No,” “can’t,” or “don’t” between one and three years of age you may get my drift here. What’s distressing about this is this is delivered at the hands of those the infant loves, trusts and depends on for his or her well being.
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