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I was the third child in our family, which meant I was frequently left out. My older brother and sister regularly ganged up on me. It was a case of “Two’s company, three’s a crowd.” As a consequence, I concocted an imaginary twin, with whom I played many games and enjoyed frequent lengthy conversations. I was repeatedly told, “Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness.” However, talking to yourself may be the sanest thing you can ever do, provided it is performed appropriately. I still do it today, but now I am aware that I am conduction my own inquisition, discussing my own challenges and finding solutions to my problems, and perhaps even the problems I see around me. Give it a try: It can earn you the most amazing successes in life.
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Getting what you want out of life is principally about success. Most people think success concerns their career, or their business and their finances, but it goes a great deal deeper than that. I would consider genuine success to be about achievement and values, not just about accomplishments, which can be witnessed externally. Business, career and financial success are immensely predisposed to the success you have in other aspects of your life – your spiritual temperament, your life purpose, your health, your relationships, and so many other aspects that have absolutely nothing to do with money, but which nonetheless greatly influence whether you are prosperous or poor.
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The obstacles you might encounter in life might appear to be external, but the real impediments preventing you from achieving your goals are, in reality, inside you, and until you uncover them and weed them out, things are not exactly likely to go the way you hope.
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Genuine success is achieved in every avenue of your life, not just in business or finance. Happiness is a part of success, as is knowledge of and accomplishment of your life purpose and rewarding, vibrant and joyful interaction with other human beings; it’s a situation that is bursting with vitality. There you will realize happiness. What’s required is a balance in the greater labyrinth of life surrounding you.
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In any sphere of study, one of the best ways to learn is by asking meticulous and challenging questions. Socrates, the noted Greek philosopher – circa 400BC – taught his students with what has become known as the Socratic Method. He answered his students’ questions with an additional query about their question, and question followed question, a procedure that could go on for hours. The understanding that was garnered from this practice was that the answers to life’s most serious questions cannot be found in some external source, but rather within each human being.
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The Socratic Method entails the use of questions to create a dialogue between a teacher and a student, but to get the best of this technique for the purpose of exploring deeper realms of consciousness than most people delve into, generate a discussion with yourself. The idea is to examine your subconscious mind and the super-conscious mind so as to uncover your intuition, inner truth and wisdom, to ask yourself probing questions, answer yourself and, by asking more questions, teach yourself about life - your life - making you your own Socrates.
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Your questions need to be designed to uncover the values, beliefs and rules by which you live to assist in generating breakthroughs, for you are capable of improvement in all avenues of life. Your innate power is just waiting to be realized. By asking and answering pertinent questions you can tap into that power and you will unearth prosperity in all areas of life. It is possible to do this, and much more, by understanding the machinations of the mind and asking suitable questions, relating to your inner truth and performing the resultant required activities on a daily basis.
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There is such abundance in the universe; nothing is in short supply. The one thing there is a shortage of is thought, the right kind of thought. Why are some people tremendously prosperous, while others live in abject poverty? It all comes down to the use of the mind and the distribution of resources. What leads us in the wrong direction on our path through life is a dearth of wisdom, compassion, creativity, focus and discipline. All of these are required for an abundant life.
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Why do people settle for lack when there is a life of abundance to be enjoyed? Because most people live from the outside in, rather than the inside out. They are obsessed with what they have instead of being inspired by their inner being, their soul, and with what they can enjoy. They take advice form others in the same boat as them, instead of taking the time to appreciate what is right for them by looking within. This leads to veiled visions, squandered dreams, and mediocrity.
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However, those who take time for honest introspection notice the patterns and cycles of life. They have self-esteem and integrity, set boundaries and allow themselves time for rejuvenation. They review their progress and examine what is, or is not, working for them and make adjustments with a positive attitude. They take full responsibility for their actions, seek truth, finding ways to improve their lives and, by so doing, make a difference in the world.
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Our lives are like a spider web,
intricately woven,
and whatever path we choose
affects the entire world.
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The Power of Self-Talk
by Todd Smith
Guess who’s the number one person you communicate with on a daily basis? It’s you! Our internal conversations characterize how we view the world and influence every part of our lives- relationships, achievements, attitude and ultimately our degree of happiness.
If this internal dialogue focuses on your faults, mistakes, weaknesses, insecurities, fears or other negative things, it will be virtually impossible to feel good about yourself and advance your life forward. Furthermore negative thinking can have a detrimental effect on your health and overall quality of life.
If on the other hand your self-talk concentrates on your strengths, blessings, successes, opportunities and other positive thoughts, you will feel great about yourself. You’ll enhance your ability to overcome obstacles and as a whole your life will become more enjoyable and fulfilling.
The great news is that you can control what you think about and you can replace any negative thought with a more positive and productive affirmation. Like anything else, it takes time and practice and it will get easier over time.
Become Aware of Your Internal Conversations
The first step toward improving our thoughts is to REALLY listen to our self-talk. Are your thoughts positive or negative? Do they lift you up or do they bring you down? Do they inspire or do they impede? You may not realize how often negative thoughts pop into your head. Become aware of this internal dialogue and its content and make sure it stays positive. When it gets negative take a few minutes to analyze the underlying reasons for your negative thinking.
Take Control of Your Thinking
If you catch yourself thinking negatively, you can stop your thought process mid-stream by literally saying to yourself “STOP!” Saying this aloud will be powerful and will make you more aware of the frequency and circumstances of these negative internal conversations.
Another trick is to walk around with a rubber band around your wrist. As you notice negative self-talk, pull the band away and let it snap back. It’ll hurt a little and serve as a slightly negative consequence that will both make you more aware of your thoughts and help put a stop to them!
Every time I catch myself thinking about one of my failures, faults or mistakes, I have a firm conversation with myself and I say, “I’ve learned all I can learn. I can’t change what has happened. I refuse to think about it any longer!” Then using my self-control I change the subject.
I confess that I may have to repeat this self-talk technique 20 times before I can finally stop thinking about a major mistake or failure. But as with every challenge I have faced thus far in my life, I have not allowed it to negatively impact my overall outlook.
Let me encourage you to start being aware of your self-talk. Determine which conversations are helpful and which ones are harmful. Take control over your thoughts and you will watch your life blossom before your eyes.
Remember, we all make mistakes. We all have set backs. We all experience failures. We all have bad things happen to us. The key is to learn from every experience and to use our self-control to stop thinking about them.
“It isn’t what you have, or who you are,
or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.”
Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years
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